There is No Such Thing as a Reluctant Learner

No Such Thing

There is no such thing as a reluctant learner. There are, however, reluctant students.

Wait a minute! You are probably here to read "Tips for Teaching Reluctant Learners" but before you leave, let me explain how the distinction between "learner" and "student" helps me define my role as a homeschool mom and how it informs my "Tips."

Learners v. Students

For me...

Knowledge grows from within a learner; whereas,
knowledge is given from a teacher to a student.

A learner chooses the subject of study; but
a teacher chooses the subject for his or her students.

The duration and location(s) of study is determined by the interest and sensibilities of a learner, exploring for longer, deeper and in many ways if possible; however,
students learn for a set amount of time and in a fixed location as dictated by the teacher.

It is OK for a learner to decide when he or she is finished studying the subject at hand; in contrast,
the teacher decides when the student is done learning.

A learner is capable of discovering important topics and pursuing education;
a student is unqualified to self-direct his or her education.

The relationship of a learner to his or her teacher is based on democracy, kindness, and learning together.
The relationship of a student to his or her teacher is based on power.

An Exceptional Learner, a Terrible Student

Case in point: my son. He is twice exceptional: his social skills and restrictive repetitive behavior place him in the bottom 2% of children his age, which is labeled Autism; his IQ places him in the top 2%, which is labeled Gifted. His unique set of strengths and weaknesses make him an ideal learner but an infuriating student.

He can spend an inordinate amount of time immersed in something he finds interesting. As a baby, he would lay on the floor and watch the wheels of his car or truck move while he gently rolled it back and forth. His belly time was spent flipping his thumb across the pages of my Joy of Cooking and watching the pages fall. Last week, as a seven year old, he sat with a LEGO set and assembled over 1000 pieces in one day.

But when he was a toddler and I invited him to color with me, I got a look from him that spoke volumes. "Are you delusional? Why would I do that?" it said. (He was nonverbal until he was 2.5 years old.) Nor would he imitate me and do the work of life (toilet train, get dressed, brush teeth, etc.). If it wasn't interesting to him, he wouldn't do it and he couldn't be convinced to do it either. No bribe was worth enough; no consequence compelling enough.

It was all fine and good when he was little. Young children are given a LOT of leeway. They develop at their own pace, asynchrony is expected. But now he is nearly eight years old and his quirky tendencies are more obvious and more problematic in mainstream schooling.

That is why we are homeschooling (again, I suppose) - because he is an exceptional learner but a terrible student...

An Exceptional Facilitator, a Terrible Teacher

...and I'm an exceptional facilitator but a terrible teacher (to him - I was actually a great teacher to community college students).

My strengths lie in learning with him. I am good at paying attention to his interests and finding ways to learn more together. What is more, I enjoy doing it.

On the flip side, I am terrible at helping him with his weaknesses. It isn't for lack of trying. When he is disinterested in something it is impossible to convince him to do it. Think the popular quotation by Katrina Gutleben (with a pinch of Autism-Stubborn-Doggedness):

"Learning can only happen when a child is interested. If he's not interested, it's like throwing marshmallows at his head and calling it eating."

Pleading doesn't work. Reasoning doesn't work. The only thing that works is coercion.

Cost-Benefit Analysis (i.e., Things to Consider Before Coercing Students) 

Coercion, bribery, bargaining. Whatever you want to call it, it is ubiquitous in education.

It starts with children earning stickers for toilet training (which, by the way, never worked for my children) and it continues with paying for chores and then manipulating their emotional well-being in schools. Essentially, the adult offers something valuable to the child iff he or she does what the adult wants them to do.

When to Use Coercion

There are two things that inform when I use coercion:


1. When I am not willing to compromise my expectations.

Through our exploration of the world, reading, and volunteerism, we have discussed subjects of science, art, history, citizenry, politics, maths, and the human condition. We've discussed ethics of how the fire began in Oregon, reasonable consequences, responsibility, and prevention. We have discussed humanitarianism because of the hurricane. We know about history from the Magic Treehouse stories of Thomas Edison and Leonardo da Vinci. We've learned climate change (and other science) from Jeff and Paige and music theory from Mr. Hoffman. 

What has not come up organically is writing down his ideas about this myriad of topics. (My daughter is a different story....she writes and writes and writes.) My expectations for my seven year old second grader is that he will become a fluent writer. 

I need this for two reasons - for evidence of his learning, and to feel satisfied with the work I do as a homeschooling parent. However, while I believe that it will probably happen naturally by the time he is 14 years old, I am not willing to wait. 

So I use coercion to entice him to sit with me daily to work on spelling, phonics, reading via The Bravewriter's Wand curriculum. He earns screentime.

2. When I am not willing to trust that it will happen naturally, organically, and in due time.

My son is Autistic; his brain is different. So different that his life skills prevent him from participating in life like everyone else. He needs therapy to bring some of his skills up to par. The way his mind and body develop is too far delayed and out-of-sync for me to stand by and watch.

For example, his eyes could not track left to right or forward and backward and needed vision therapy. Simultaneously, he needed to do a speech therapy "homework" at home as well as occupational therapy. However, none of this was easy for him. He would absolutely not do it without coercion. 

So I bribed him. I paid him $1 per day for sitting with me and doing the work with good manners.

In each of these situations, my son is decidedly a student and I am the teacher.

Methods of Coercion

I refuse to use guilt trips or emotional coercion with my children. So that leaves me with finding things that will work as bribes. In my family, stickers, candy, and high fives are not enticing enough compensation for what I want them to do. The two most sought-after commodities are money and screentime.

Screentime because we are learning our limits with screens; money because, despite our policy on allowance, they always want more.

What it really comes down to is cost-benefit analysis. How important is it? And what is it worth? ("It" being some educational goal.)

Coercion-Free Life and Learning

For most of our homeschooling life we are coercion-free. That is the power and the glory of self-directed, interest-based learning. 

Together we explore places like science centers, art museums, national and state parks, and libraries. We host parties and play games.  We attend community volunteer work days and neighborhood parties. 

We read. We laugh. We enjoy learning. 

It is so easy and so fun that you wouldn't even know we're learning.

On Trust and Mindfulness

The extent to which you trust that your child will learn to be a competent, kind, and productive member of society will dictate how much coercion you need in your life.

My recommendation to you is to be mindful of coercion.

Pay attention to the situation and ask yourself: "is this something that is so important that I need to coerce my child? Or can I let it go?"

Only you know your child, his or her needs, and your needs. We all have different non-negotiables. We all have different methods of coercion. But we should all recognize when and why coercion is the force by which our child performs as a student compared to when and why our child shows us that he or she is a learner.

GHF Changing How the World Views Education

This was written as part of the GHF Blog Hop. For more surf over here...

Repetitive Play: Becoming Who They Are

It was spring semester of my freshman year. I had been living beneath the overcast skies of a Michigan winter for months. Things were dragging and I found solace in the strangest of places: differential equations.

In my dorm room, I sat at my desk and worked problems from the textbook. Then I worked them again. It felt good. The patterns, the rhythm, and the difficulty all gradually increased from 1 to 99. I did the set again. In fact, I did them over and over again. Differential equations became my mantra.

Weird? I know. But merely the academic manifestation of playing with your favorite thing, your favorite patterns. I remember finding great comfort in doing my maths homework over and over again. It seemed like a winning way to spend my time because I was escaping from the drama of dorm life by studying. (Brilliant!)

It turns out that comfort is just one reason repetition is good for you (and for your kids). Repetition invites us to be imagined participants rather than passive dummies. Consider how...

...How Repetition Strengthens

Read the rest at Fat Brain Toys...

When What Matters to Her Doesn’t Matter (As Much) to Him

Giftedness comes with intensities, high needs, and special needs. Activities and moments other families take for granted can become a planning nightmare when a gifted child, or two, is involved. Conflicting needs can lead to strained relationships between siblings and parents. How can families manage the various needs giftedness brings to the table, while creating a closer family, and maybe even while having fun? Learn from the GHF Bloggers who have managed to walk this path and come out stronger and happier. This is my take on the matter...

From the Same Soil

One autumn day my family drove the winding canyon road into the mountains to find a campsite. I marveled at a fire-red splash of color hugging the trunk of an evergreen tree. Virginia creepers climbed the entire height of the old tree but didn’t strangle it. I was amazing at how indifferent the tall tree was to the colorful vines and yet the creepers needed the tree. From the same soil these two plants grew, much the same way my children grow in our family, I thought. My son often seems indifferent to my daughter, who dances and twirls around him.

However, it is not that he is indifferent to her. It is that he has a different “love language” than she does. What matters to her doesn’t matter as much to him. And the way those differences manifest in our lives deserves a little attention, if only because if I understand the differences then I can be a better parent and, together, we will learn all the ways to express and receive love.

What Matters to Him and What Matters to Her

One of the most succinct summaries I have seen that sheds light on “what matters” to my children comes from the Research-Based Behaviors of Five Major Domain Profiles by Karen Rogers. In this framework, my son is both “The Brain” and “The Creative Thinker” whereas my daughter is “The Social Leader.” What matters to him? Heady, intellectual, creative, individual pursuits. To her? Attending to, navigating, and responding sensibly to social life. He looks at his work, and so does she.

He Has Our Attention

It has been that way since she was born. He was 27 months old and still required a lot of attention. As it happened, in the time it took me to change her diaper, he circumvented the child lock on one door, unlocked a padlock on the door to the garage, got a stool to reach the garage door opener, opened the garage, and ran across the street to our neighbor’s house. So the better part of her first year we attended more to his needs and his interests than to hers. If we didn’t, we risked him doing it anyways on his own.

Traipsing Together

In fact, at her six-month well-child check-up I had more questions about him than about her. That is when the pediatrician directed me to her behavioral specialist, who then showed me the trailhead for the path I have taken to learn about Sensory Processing Disorder, Autism, and Giftedness.

Shortly after meeting the behavioral specialist, he began speech therapy. And by “he” I mean “we.” The therapist welcomed all three of us - my son, my daughter, and me - into her office. I was there to ease his separation anxiety, my daughter was there because she had nowhere else to be. He would only barely engage with the work of speech therapy, keeping his eyes on the mechanically interesting toys the therapist offered him. My daughter on the other hand, soaked it all in. She watched her brother and the therapist and followed her instructions right alongside her brother.

He did, she did, and I did.

Over the course of the next year, occupational therapy was added to speech therapy as was therapeutic gymnastics. A full developmental assessment revealed that he is twice exceptional: his social skills and restrictive repetitive behavior place him in the bottom 2% of children his age, which is labeled “Autism”; his IQ places him in the top 2%, which is labeled “Gifted.”

Through all of it - the therapy, the homework from therapy, the parenting guidance offered by his doctors - we all attended to the work. He did, she did, and I did.

He treated it all as an intellectual pursuit - happy for the novelty, the one-on-one teaching and learning (mentorship), and the opportunity to direct it all.  She treated it all as a social pursuit - happy to be the other child in social skills lessons. I treated it all as my job of being a stay-at-home-mom - managing the logistics of weaving together transport, meals, naps, therapy, reading, and playtime.

He Is

Fast forward four years. He is still that same rambunctious and charismatic child who is different from his peers. He draws attention from his sister and others. He is a Gifted Visual-Spatial Learner and recognized by people who see his strengths in art and science. And when it comes to social endeavors he is able to analyze the situation but he cannot intuit within it (flow naturally in playground play). He is as unwavering as an evergreen tree, imitating nothing and caring most for his inner life.

She Is

She imitates him. She imitates his intellectual pursuits - learning to read, write, build, and create things right alongside him. She imitates his restrictive repetitive behavior - flapping her arms and shaking her head in play. She gives him space when he needs it (usually), wraps him in blankets when he is cold, and reminds him to eat his lunch when we drop him off at school. She cares for him in a way that everyone recognizes as caring.

Books at the Playground

These ways they are different are rarely more apparent than when we are at the playground.

One weekend in autumn, our family went to the local library and had discovered a new book called “Electronics for Kids.” My husband and son had dived full-bore into it, creating circuits together and reading the physics related to each lesson. My son was delighted and soaring with inspiration and satisfaction. He wouldn’t leave home without it...not even to go to the playground.

So with his 328-page book and box of electronic components in hand, we walked with his sister to the neighbor playground. Upon arrival, he saw a friend from a school - a little girl plus her older sister. He was bursting with excitement. He invited them to see his book and his box of components. They came over with mild curiosity.

He asked, “Does your big sister know how to read?”

“Yes.”

“Great! She can read this for us.” The girls took one look at what he was offering, looked at each other, and told him they would rather ride their bikes.

They even asked him to join them. But he just could NOT understand how they could dismiss his interests, his offering, his intellect, HIM, so easily. As they rode their bikes in circles, he chased them reciting passages from the book, explaining that he was going to build a robot, and declaring that they must be excited that he would be their friend who could build electronics and teach them all about it.

Meanwhile, my daughter found her place under the jungle gym and opened an imaginary ice cream parlor. The girls rode their bikes to the storefront, ordered an ice cream, paid for it, took a couple licks before riding in another circle. Then they would repeat the play.

As the girls played, my son chased them, climbed around where they were, and regaled them with physics lessons. The girls were not mean; they just weren’t interested. What mattered to him didn’t matter to them.

Walking home he could not make sense of it. He told me he felt stupid, disconnected, unlovable. (In so many words.) He wanted to know why they played with his sister instead of him.

They played with her because her gift serves her well on the playground. She is a four year old who can design and direct a game that a seven year old and a nine year old will play as her peer. She appealed to their interests, connected with them, and was satisfied with her success.

When they reject his ideas they unknowingly break his heart.

The discrepancy between his feelings of disconnectedness and her feelings of connection are under the microscope at home. Together we look for an answer to his question: “why?”

The thing that sustains him, excites him, and feeds his soul does not serve him well on the playground. It is not the place for thinking, reading, learning...at least not to most seven year olds. But he opens his heart when he shares ideas. If the person with whom he shares does not hold ideas, learning, reading (at the playground) in the same esteem, then when they reject his ideas they unknowingly break his heart.

His four year old sister might be the only child who sees his heartbreak. She offers him gifts to cheer him up - small drawings she’s made, a cookie, a hug. When he rejects her gifts he unknowingly breaks her heart.

Needs

When their hearts are broken it is evident that their needs are not being met. It is obvious from their behavior - they become hot tempered, they cry easily, they hit and argue and yell. And so it becomes of utmost importance that I figure out what needs are not being met.

What matters to him is what he needs. As a “Brain” and “Creative Thinker” his unmet needs often land solidly in the “Autonomy” and “Growth” categories of the List of Needs from Happily Family/Nonviolent Communication.

What matters to her is what she needs. As a “Social Leader” her unmet needs often land in the “Acknowledgement,” “Attention” and “Connection” categories.

He needs ideas. He needs to learn and to teach. He needs to build and to dissect. And to feel loved, he needs to do those things with other people.

She needs to be in charge. She needs to make things and give them to people. And to feel loved, she needs others to accept her direction, to accept her gifts, and to offer gifts to her.

To Love and Be Loved

So here I have two children with two different sets of needs, a tree and a vine. I love them for who they are, but when it comes to parenting them I aim to give him what he needs, to give her what she needs, even if their needs are different...because fair isn't everyone getting the same but everyone getting what they need.

To this end, I make time and space for him to learn with and to teach his sister. I make time for her to direct things. I hear her say, “That’s so interesting!” to her brother and know his heart swells with pride. Her heart finds peace when I teach her brother how to acknowledge her efforts by saying “thank you.” In these ways my family learns how to love and be loved.

Read more about how gifted traits collide at the GHF Blog Hop...

To Do Homework or Not: That is Not the Question

To Do Homework or Not
Until we were in the thick of it, I always thought I would forbid my son from doing homework. We have spent years cultivating playful independent learning and we are really good at it. So why not keep doing it?

Because he wants to do homework, kind of. Of course, it is arguable that he wants to do homework because he wants to please his teacher and fit in at school. They tell him, “Homework makes you smarter.” He believes them. His classmates believe them. His classmates’ parents believe them.

And I am the odd woman out.

Treat it as an Invitation
What I have discovered is a happy medium. I do not actively oppose homework nor do I actively push it on my child.

I treat it as an invitation to learn.

Read the entire article at Fat Brain Toys...

Fan Favorites - October 2016

101 Books to Read Kids Before Kindergarten
http://growingbookbybook.com/101-books-read-kids-kindergarten

What Should a 4-year-old should know?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alicia-bayer-/what-should-a-4-year-old-know_b_3931921.html?

if you want him to have those subjects covered then just work it into life and play with the subject and he’ll naturally pick it up. Count to 60 when you’re mixing a cake and he’ll pick up his numbers. Get fun books from the library about space or the alphabet. Experiment with everything from backyard snow to celery stalks in food coloring. It’ll all happen naturally, with much more fun and much less pressure.

Keeping Kids Safe

A Different Take on the Stringbean Teepee

This Squash tunnel is fantastical!
growsomethinggreen.com

31 Things Your Kids Should Be Doing Instead of Homework

http://www.parent.co/31-things-your-kids-should-be-doing-instead-of-homework/

It’s not just that homework itself has no academic benefits for little kids, and may even be harmful, it’s also that homework is replacing other fun, developmentally appropriate, and valuable activities – activities that help them grow into healthy, happy adults.

Using Just the Right Amount
http://teachertomsblog.blogspot.com/2014/10/using-just-right-amount.html

This is why when a child dumps an entire bowl of googly eyes into a lake of glue then empties a shaker of glitter onto it, I no longer see waste. In fact, I know she is using just the right amount.

Sticker Dress-up

When I was shopping for an activity book at the local bookstore, I looked over and was furious to find my toddler ripping stickers from a book of her own. Frustrated, I purchased the book. But I am happy to report a wonderful silver lining. The "Sticker Dolly Dressing" book by Usborne is a huge hit!

Our current homework routine requires that we all sit at the table and work. For my toddler, this Sticker Dolly Dressing book was a wonderful activity to work on. At first glance, I figured it was just a different context for her to play with stickers. But upon closer observation I noticed some preschool engineering learning available to her. First of all, the shapes are new. Shirts, dressing, scarves, and shoes are distinctly different shapes than our typical sticker supply which is primarily variations on circles (faces), flowers, and characters like TInkerbell. Second of all, the layers created by putting a shirt on the "dolly" first and then the skirt, sash, cape, and jewelry were pretty complicated pictures.

The engineering of the images and the stickers that Usborne did is pretty cool and provides, I think, a kind of visceral pre-engineering experience as the child works through the book. You can see from the picture that these South African women are dressed in a base layer as well as a cape and some headdresses. They also have jewelry on their legs and arms. This page started as a picture of three women wearing undergarments. A corresponding page with the stickers was marked with the page number and each woman had her own set of clothes. My daughter would choose the people she wanted to dress. Then I helped her find the stickers and told her things like "it says to put this shirt on [name] first. then this cape."

A page spread in the Sticker Dolly Dressing book.

Anna could not get enough of this Sticker Dolly Dressing book. Even when all the dollys were dressed, she still chose it as her canvas for homework sticker work. So, beyond the dolly stickers she began integrating new sheet stickers with the Sticker Dolly Dressing book. The work she was doing amazed me.

One night she chose a sheet of ladybug stickers. SHe didn't need my help for this so I just watched. She would peel the ladybug off the sheet and then look at the Sticker Dolly Dressing page and put the bug down. At first I didn't pay much attention to her. Then I started to notice some things. Anna had started sorting the bugs. She had a grouping of all open-winger ladybugs in one spot...

Open-wing ladybugs.

...closed-wing ladybugs in another spot...

Closed-wing ladybugs.

...and pink, open-winged ladybugs in yet another spot.

Pink open-wing ladybugs. 

At first I wondered if she was just copying the pattern on the original sheet of bugs but I don't think so. The ladybugs had been arranged on the ladybug sheet so that each set of 16 bugs had a green ladybug with open wings, a green one with closed wings, and so on for each colored ladybug. I saw a pattern but not one that screamed "this is how the ladybugs go!" My daughter had done her own sorting and classification of these bugs. Clearly, it is pre-biology practice because the stickers represented bugs. But also I think pre-math and pre-general science.

For Christmas, I snagged the "Sticker Dolly Dressing: Action!" book for my girl and the "Sticker Dolly Dressing: Extreme Sports" for my boy from the big list of books by Usborne. I found the Usborne page is the best place to peruse the possibilities where you'll see themes from everything from fairies to warriors! Then you can scour bookstores (brick and mortar and online) for the right one for your preschool engineer.

[Disclosure Statement: This post contains affiliate links. If you click and purchase, I receive a small referral fee at no cost to you. To see how I spend the money see my "Philanthropy" page. ]

Homework Benefits for Parents/Caregivers

Shortly after my posts on homework and scribbling in which I advocate for some family time at the end of the day and how to spend that time, this article was published on HuffPost. It was titled "Coloring Isn't Just for Kids. It Can Actually Help Adults Combat Stress." It compliments my recent revelations beautifully!

Image from CakeChooser.com

My original argument for homework time was to schedule in some downtime at the end of the day. It helps me know what to do when we're all running a little ragged. It is something the kids look forward to every day: Anna enjoys her last milk for the day, Mikey craves the closeness and the last new thing of the day. They color, play with stickers, read snippets from their activity books, etc. I'm usually just there for support. But what HuffPost adds is that this type of work (specifically coloring) can be de-stressing for adults, too.

"In simplest terms, coloring has a de-stressing effect because when we focus on a particular activity, we focus on it and not on our worries."  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/13/coloring-for-stress_n_5975832.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

The article goes on to suggest some coloring books for adults. They are all different from the ones I suggest in "Not Your Average Coloring Book" and I am excited to try them. Somehow reading this little article on HuffPost was all I needed to justify having my own creative outlet at homework time. Not only will I de-stress but I will be modeling homework for my kids. I can design projects large and small. I can show them trial and error, demonstrate how to handle the frustration of something not going as planned, and teach them how to be gracious and proud of a job well-done. I will show them that coloring isn't just for kids...and why should it be? After all, Picasso encourages us: "Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."

Homework for Preschoolers

Dependable & Flexible
They say that children thrive when they have clear boundaries, a dependable yet flexible schedule, rules by which to live. As parents we all find our own ways of doing this for our children but I recently discovered the value of a "dependable yet flexible schedule" for me!

A Little Direction Goes a Long Way
In those hours between the end of dinner and bath time I was losing my mind. I wanted to just put my feet up and let the kids run free. But at the end of the day they are both too tired and too squirrelly to be left to their own devices. Or rather, the things they think to do are too messy, too crazy, and induce too much crying from them and too much redirection/discipline from me. So I redesigned our evenings and the results have been good in more ways than one.

Undirected Mayhem for All
Our evenings used to be like this:

• 5ish - dinner
• after dinner - undirected and unfocused mayhem for all
• 7:30 - bedtime routine (bath, put on jammies, read, snuggle, sleep)

Rhythm & Routine
The evenings now go like this:

• 5ish - dinner
• after dinner - clean up dining room and kitchen
• after clean up - outside play
• 7PM - homework
• 7:15 - bedtime routine (bath, put on jammies, read, snuggle, sleep)

Kinda Sorta Homework
You might be thinking "homework for preschoolers?!" Well, yes, kind of. And homework time is the single most drastic addition to our evening routine and the one that seems to have helped the most!

We all sit at the table together. The kids have their choice of fine motor work. For example, they can color, work in sticker books, sculpt with play dough, do puzzles, or string beads. If they had the mental power for Legos or other building then that would be OK but we have found that simpler work is better at this time of day.

They do end homework time at a logical place - when the picture is completely colored, the page is completely emptied of stickers that have been transplanted onto something else, or the string is filled up with beads. But it isn't so much about completing a project (and certainly not a worksheet). It is about coming together as a family (papa is not necessarily for dinner but he's always home for homework), and doing quiet creative work.

Building Good Habits for Now and Then
I have one more year before Mikey is in kindergarten. Some of his friends have already begun and I hear stories of battles over homework. When to sit a kindergartener down to do it? How much will they have to do? Will they have enough time to play and just be a kid? All of these are valid concerns and I am curious about next year and what homework will look like for us. I hope that having dedicated homework time already in our routine will help us make a smooth transition between self-directed homework and school-directed homework.

Most importantly, our new schedule helps me know what to do now. Having that routine helps me to not have to think when I am at my most tired and when I have my hands full cooking and cleaning. It helps my children know that I am only going to clean the dining room and kitchen (not all the other rooms), and they can usually figure out how long they will have to wait for my attention. It helps them know that they will have an opportunity to get their squiggly wiggles out after we eat and that we will all be together one more time before bedtime.

Anna's Sticker Work - Dolly Sticker Dress-up

Mikey's Sticker Work - Lego Ninjago

The Real Work of Being Home = Coming Together

We all depend on that coming-together before bedtime. Sometimes homework is very inventive, sometimes it is repetitive, but it always done in good company.

Handwriting App: Letter School

Before I met my daughter I didn't believe that children would just naturally learn to grasp a writing implement properly and on their own. I mean, Mikey and I have spent A LOT of time working to develop a "tripod" grasp and to press the pencil/marker/crayon with the right amount of pressure to make a mark on paper. But here she is, 2.5 years old, grabbing and scribbling with perfect hand "posture." And here we are with Mikey, 4.5 years old, still practicing daily to figure it out.

Every day I offer dotted letters, numbers, or shapes for him to trace during "homework" time. Every day I remind him to "please us tripod grasp" instead of his fisted grab. It is perpetual, important, and sometimes frustrating. Enter technology. When my husband saw one of Mikey's friends drawing on an iPad with a stylus he suggested that we look into something like it for Mikey. I found a short and informative list on Urth Mama and chose "Letter School" as a good place to start. What I discovered was an app that seems to have been designed for Preschool Engineers!

Learning to write each letter follows a "Tap, Trace, Write" pattern. Here is how it works:
- child chooses a letter or number

Tap
- child taps the starting point for each stroke needed to write the letter, after tapping the correct starting point something cool happens - for example, a hook followed by a chain flows along the line of the stroke
- when each tap has been completed and a chain reaches across each line of the letter then the chain moves like a conveyor belt

Trace
- following the same pattern as tapping, the child traces each stroke of the letter
- as the child traces the line something cool happens to highlight their path, for example, grass grows along the stroke line
- when each stroke has been traced and the letter is grown over with grass, a lawn mower comes to mow it!!

Write
- this is the trickiest part of the game. the child has to write freehand. the starting points and tracing lines appear briefly before disappearing.
- the child writes, freehand, the letter, which appears as a chalk line.

There are a variety of mechanically interesting animations that appear over the course of the game. Train tracks and a train, hooks and chains, lawn and lawn mower, marble run and rolling marble, and the list goes on.

Download Letter School for iPad here:

Or Download Letter School for iPhone here:

Your child can use fingers to play this game. If you are like me and want your child to use this as a handwriting lesson then you'll need a stylus. I grabbed these inexpensive ones off Amazon: Sty HD - $1 each.

Counting in Japanese!

Picture from thetruthaboutcars.com

Our best friends are Japanese and children are little language sponges. So it was no surprise to me when my kids asked how to count in Japanese. This cute little YouTube video was a wonderful introduction to counting in Japanese. My kids both sing along and even on their own. But there is something way more interesting about counting in Japanese than the superior language-acquisition skills of young children...it is the math learning that counting in Japanese affords us.


Not long after learning to count from one to ten in Japanese, Mikey asked how to count to twenty. So I did a little internet homework and learned that knowing to count to ten means you know how to count to 100.

1 - ichi
2 - ni
3 - san
4 - yon
5 - go
6 - roku
7 - nana
8 - hachi
9 - kyu
10 - ju

Get this: eleven is ju-ichi! (10 + 1), twelve is ju-ni (10 + 2), and so on until you get to twenty, ni-ju (2x10). Twenty one is then ni-ju-ichi (2x10 + 1).

Maybe it is the algebra teacher in me but the Japanese representation of numbers is so powerful!! I can hardly contain my excitement for using Japanese counting as a reference for helping Mikey and Anna with their math learning.

Thinking in Pictures: Sorting Letters

One day I went next door and saw an activity sheet my neighbor's preschooler was working on. It was a simple enough task - draw a line from the big letter to its corresponding little letter. I was wondering how arbitrary those things must seem to a child. I mean why on earth do the letters look the way they do? It is an invented system for communication and from what I can tell, little letters are just a lazy way of writing big letters. So I started thinking about symbols from a child's point of view...thinking in pictures.

Some of the big letters match the little letters very nicely, like C and c. Other letters kind of match like J and j. More letters still don't even match a little like R and r. I came up with a game for homework time to help my toddler and preschooler think about the letters in a sensible way.

Materials:
26 index cards
2 sheets of paper
marker

Instructions:
1. I wrote pairs of big letter/little letters on each of the 26 index cards. Aa, Bb, Cc, etc. (Your child could do this, too.)
2. Then I wrote "Similar" on one sheet of paper and "Different" on the other sheet of paper.
3. Mikey's task was to sort the letters.
4. The hardest part of this activity for me was keeping my mouth shut. I really had nothing to add. My child understood the game and "performed" flawlessly. On occasion I would ask what made the letters different and it was nice to hear him defend his choice.

Like I've mentioned before, the idea of "thinking in pictures" has helped me crystalize some hunches I have had about how children learn. This activity was borne from my continued learning about early childhood development, especially as it manifests in twice exceptional children.